A non-blogger returns – albeit briefly

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and really, I shouldn’t even be doing it now. I should be asleep. The reason I have been a non-blogger is that I am now in Week 7 of my Diploma in Digital Marketing – an offline course I am doing while working full time, looking after the kids and neglecting my husband. Yes, he is being neglected. We are being neglected. My blog followers are being neglected. It’s been a vicious cycle of neglect, my friends. My husband’s in bed now. I should be in bed now too. But I’m not.

tired
Just give me a second to recharge and I will return to my life

I’ve been studying and kind of enjoying the peace and quiet, to be honest. Does that make me a bad wife? Probably. Am I learning all about how valuable regular blogging is? Yes. Have I been doing it? Hell, no! Am I asking too many questions because I am a bit delirious from lack of sleep? Yes. Goodnight!

I cry for love

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Lock up your daughters!

Dinner time at my house. We are all sitting down together at the dining table, sharing the highlights of our day.

Now I know this sounds very Brady Bunchesque, but believe me, most nights I can be found in the kitchen frantically cooking up three different meals – one for me (FODMAPS-friendly); one for the kids (tasteless and without any ‘weird green bits’); and one for my husband (big and meaty – the food; not hubby). And by the time each meal is ready, there is not much time for chatter.

So one the rare evenings when we are all eating THE SAME THING, it’s nice to enjoy the time to catch up.

So back to the conversation.

My son, who has just started school this year (he is 6), was regaling us with a list of girls at his school that are in love with him.

“Kate* loves me, but I don’t love her.”

“Sarah* loves me, but I don’t love her.”

“Emma* loves me. She always wants to hug me when I fall down and cry.”

I asked: “Do you sometimes fall down and pretend to cry for hugs?”

And my son answered: “Nah, I cry for love.”

Romantic or playboy? I’ll have wait to wait a few years to find out!

*Names have been changed to protect the sweetly innocent.

 

Time will tell

It’s been ages since I’ve blogged – again! How does time slip away so quickly?

My husband and I were talking about our previous home and we were saying that it seemed like a simpler life there. We had our first baby, I was a stay-at-home-Mum for a time and we just seemed to have all the time in the world.

05Of course if you had asked me back then how I felt about things, I probably would have told you that I never seem to have enough time to do anything! Fast forward seven years and we all seem to be barely holding on from day to day.

Today was the last day of school for my kids – they are now halfway through Prep and Grade Two. But the most exciting thing is that I am on holidays too! Yes, this tightly wound little bundle of stress has two weeks off!

Next Thursday we are flying to the Gold Coast to spend five nights in the Sea World Resort with unlimited entry to three theme parks - Sea World, Movie World and Wet-n-Wild. Just a cruisey, laid back holiday – not! Then we have three nights in Sydney.

For eight nights we will all be in the one hotel room. And for a person who really loves their own space, this thought makes me very nervous!

Relaxing and kicking back is a bit of an elusive concept for me at the moment. Because I don’t have enough on my plate; with working full time, while trying to be a good Mum and wife; I decided to start a Diploma in Digital Marketing! It’s an online course that will take me 12 months.

For any of you who have been faithfully following my blog (whoever you are, I love you and thank you) you will recall that this is not my first attempt at higher learning online. I wrote a blog about my attempt at a Masters of Marketing for about three weeks before having to drop out – much to my annoyance and shame.

But this time I think I will make it. It does mean that for 12 months, I won’t be around much and that’s hard to accept.

Can you justify putting your family through 12 months of only having half of your attention when you are already struggling to give them the love and focus you know they need from you?

Time will tell!

 

I forgive me

I forgive me for ignoring my six-year-old son’s pleas that he had to go to the toilet when we got to the park (“But you just went!”) and so he ended up soiling himself and crying.

I forgive me for yelling at my son who just soiled himself because he couldn’t hang on that one extra minute.

I forgive me for giving my son extra treats to make up for the terribleness of the park incident.

I forgive me for dressifunny-parenting-quote-pic1ng my six-year-old son in his sister’s track pants this morning and not noticing they were two sizes too big until we got to school.

I forgive me for dressing my son in ridiculously big track pants which lead to some boys tease him about it at school that made him feel sad.

I forgive me for giving my son extra treats to make up for the terribleness of the wrong size track pants incident.

 

 

Being 41

Being 41 is weird.

wearing-moms-heels-pinterestIt’s making me Google ‘serums’ that can turn back years of sun damage. Gosh, if I could step back in time, I would slap that bottle of Reef Oil with the SPF -5 out of my hands and make myself wear a hat, top and 30+ sunscreen!

It’s making me stand in front of the mirror, and use both hands on each side of my face to flatten out my wrinkles. Botox? Yes please!

It’s making me panic that I get so excited about sunny days and doing three loads of washing!

It’s making me get extra tests at the docs for health issues as ‘a precautionary measure’. Gosh, I miss the feeling of invincibility when you are young!

It’s making me break out which is weird! What is the deal with adult acne?!

It’s made me get a blood test to check I was menopausal. But it turned out that I am just a bad tempered b*tch!

It’s made keeping fit so, so hard! Huffing and puffing on the treadmill is just not as much fun when it serves as a cruel reminder of how much I’ve let myself go!

It’s making me not want to enter certain clothing stores, just incase the shop assistants are thinking I am shopping there for my teenage daughter!

It’s making me feel the need to hide my immaturity. Surely, I’m not the only 41-year-old that gets teary-eyed while watching ‘Frozen’; or who laughs at fart jokes, right?

It’s making me feistier, as my tolerance for bullish** is w-a-a-y lower than ever. Actually, I like this part of being 41!

Here’s to growing old disgracefully!

 

 

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If Kids’ Stories Were Internet Headlines…

Angie Pantazi:

A great twist on some of our favourite fairytales!

Originally posted on The Byronic Man:

The itsy-bitsy spider went up a water-spout – and then things got crazy.

This little girl found 3 bowls of porridge. What she did next made me cry.

Don't forget to "like" Carl!
Don’t forget to “like” Carl!

This dog, Carl, is freaking AWESOME.

This guy grew a beanstalk up to the clouds using this one crazy trick!

18 things wicked women do that drive step-daughters INSANE.

The moon, and 17 other things children of the 90’s will remember saying goodnight to.

Jack & Jill went up a hill just to get some water. What happened next will blow. your. mind.

11 unbelievable things you probably didn’t know the bus does as it goes all through the town. (#7 is my favorite)

If you’re happy and you know it, will your face surely show it?  Click here to learn the amazing secret that doctors don’t want you to know about!

#8 - people don't usually cackle and rub their hands together as you eat if the apple ISN'T poisoned. #8 – people don’t usually…

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An ode to my Mum

I am an only child – my husband and friends will tell you that this is plainly obvious! – and I am very close to my Mum.

It’s a nice bond, coming from being a small family unit where it was always just the three of us.

To commemorate Mother’s Day, I thought I would share a few pearls of wisdom that my Mum has taught me over the years (and some behaviours I have taken on board):

  • When an item is on sale, think not of what you will spend; but focus on what you will SAVE.
  • When the credit card statement arrives in the mail, hide it from your husband.
  • When you buy anything new, place it in your wardrobe straight away and when your husband comments on your outfit say, “Whaaat? This old thing? I’ve had it for AGES.”
  • There is no such thing as a wasted education. Everything you learn adds to your being. This attitude came in handy when I had to talk my folks through my plans to go back to uni at 29.
  • Girls rule! Feminism is ace! Yeah!
  • You can be a wonderful mother and work full time.
  • Blue and green should never be seen, unless there’s a colour between.
  • Always stick up for what you believe in. Speak out and be proud.
  • Just because you can’t cook toffees for the school fete, does not mean you are not a terrific Mum!
  • Chocolate cures all ills.
  • A mother’s love is never more apparent than when she is rubbing Vicks VapoRub on your tummy when you are little and struggling with a bad cold.

So, thanks Mum for showing me how it’s done. Love ya to bits!

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Family Violence is out of control

Angie Pantazi:

Thank you Kate Forster for expressing my grief, frustration and despair about domestic violence.

Originally posted on What Party?:

Question.

If one man a week died from a there would be an outcry. Why are women killed by not given the same attention?

I posted this question on Twitter last night and chaos ensued. Countless retweets, messages from men and women agreeing with the question. women sharing their own stories of domestic violence. A few trolls but not many. Most people feeling the same way. Enough is enough.

I wondered why Tony Abbott isn’t saying anything about this growing issue, he certainly was vocal about the Coward Punch issue.

We have a male Prime Minister in Australia. He needs to be a role model. He needs to say that men who murder their partners and or children are cowards. That there are other ways to dissolve anger at marital strife or separation, and that death and violence isn’t one of them.

I have been passionate…

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Become a Blogger in 39 Easy Steps!

Angie Pantazi:

All the secrets to being a blogger revealed! This will make you laugh out loud, and if you don’t recognise yourself in any of these points – you are in denial, my friend!

Originally posted on She's a Maineiac:

Hey kids! Want to become a blogger? It’s easy! Just do the following:

  1. Roll your eyes when blogger friend suggests you start a blog.
  2. Start blog.
  3. Write first post. Make sure it’s short and stupid because you’re certain no one will ever read it.
  4. Get two followers. Ego instantly inflates while at the same time you’re baffled someone willingly wants to read your writing.
  5. Write second post and this time make it way too long but still very stupid.
  6. No new followers. Tell yourself you don’t care. You’re writing for you, not them.
  7. Write third post, mention the Kardashians and add fun colorful images.
  8. Get first comment.
  9. Become obsessed with blogging.
  10. Write posts every other day.
  11. On the days you don’t write posts, think about brilliant ideas for posts.
  12. Think about dumb ideas for posts.
  13. Realize you have no way of differentiating what will be considered dumb or brilliant.
  14. Keep at least…

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Is Easter over yet?

eastereggsWarning: this post is about Easter and chocolate eggs, and does not really touch on the real meaning of Easter at all – not one little bit, actually.

I’m going to come right out and say it: I am over Easter.

Well, to be more specific, I am over chocolate. And that goes hand in hand with Easter.

And for those of you who know me, will realise this is a big statement because I am a bona fide chocoholic.

Don’t you agree that something weird has happened to Easter this year?

It seems to have been here since the start of April. In fact, I think I recall seeing hot cross buns and Easter eggs in the shops in February.

I hold school holidays to blame.

They started a few weeks before Easter, so of course I had to race out and buy Easter eggs to hand out to my childrens’ friends; teachers; after school care leaders; and school crossing supervisors on the last day of school (4 April). And it all went downhill from there!

We have already had two Easter egg hunts and have seen the Easter bunny loitering around shopping centres and other outdoor events. So now we have bags of chocolate Easter eggs and it is not even Easter Sunday yet!

Tomorrow at 4.30am I am going to have to wake up, creep outside and hide eggs so my kids can wake up at 6am, race outside and then probably stop short and bemoan “Oh noooo. Not MORE Easter eggs!” Because the surprise and build up has gone. They have been eating eggs for weeks now, so what’s the big deal?

I remember the Easters of my youth when it would be so exciting to wake up on Easter Sunday, knowing that I could finally get my hands on some chocolate Easter eggs. There was no way that  I would have had any chocolate eggs before then. Oh no.

And for those of you that say ‘Well, you should have hidden or put away all the gets they collected at those Easter eggs hunts so they wouldn’t eat any chocolate eggs until Sunday,” I say: ‘You’re probably right.”

My struggles have just begun. We had my family Easter get together yesterday for Good Friday and we all exchanged eggs. Now as I type I can see THREE bags full of chocolate Easter eggs that are calling my name like Sirens.

And they won’t suddenly go away on Sunday. Judging by the ridiculous amount of chocolate we have in the house, they will be here for the rest of the year!

It’s all too much. It’s like being a junkie and having someone lay out drugs in front you and then saying “Don’t touch.”

Because of course I am going to touch! And unwrap! And eat! And eat!

Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe it is the catalyst for me to stare my sugar/chocolate addiction in the eye and say enough is enough!

Now wouldn’t that be sweet?

Happy Easter everyone!