Something major hit me last night as I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. I was looking pale, puffy, couldn’t take my eyes off the major volcanic pimple on my chin and my hair was a crazy birds nest.
I’ve given up on myself!
I’ve gone weeks hating my hair while I’ve been trying to grow it out and not cared how horrible it was looking. I haven’t taken much care with my appearance – watch out for those spiky hairy legs! My face has decided to revert back to my teenage years and erupted in red pimples around my chin. I may as well wear a sign that says “I’m getting my period soon – step back!”
And I’ve just sighed and thought “Oh well, who really cares?”
Isn’t 40 meant to be a time when a woman reaches her sexual peak? I’ve got to pull my socks up and get my groove on!
Righto, tonight I am going to shave my legs and have sex with my husband!
I’m going to give up on the ridiculous notion that having long hair again will make me more attractive, and get it cut short again (which my husband has been waiting me to do for ages).
And I will use that super expensive mask that the beautician recommended would help with my skin “issues”. Imagine how depressing it was to hear a pre-pubescent, stunning beauty technician who obviously has never had a pimple in her life, tell me that my skin discolouration and ‘ruddiness’ is due to ageing! Feck off!
I also had big plans to look faaabulous for my 40th in January. And I was doing so well until a few months ago when I stopped going to Weight Watchers because I was paying $18 a week to step on some scales!
Even though I had planned to keep going on my own, all the motivation went out the window and the weight has crept back on – not too much, thankfully. But I have lost my exercise mojo big time.
Boo hoo to me!
Someone pass me some dairy free, wheat free, flavour free chocolate – quick smart!