Monthly Archives: August 2012

Tune in, drop out

I haven’t blogged for a while because I’ve been hiding from you all.

I’ve got a shameful confession to make.  I’ve had to drop out of my off campus studies.  I could only do four weeks of study before realising that I just couldn’t do it all.

I just could not keep up with the heavy study load, full time work, being a Mum and a wife.

I was turning in to a narky Mummy who was stressing when the kids weren’t going straight to sleep.  Then I was reading or studying for a few hours and even falling asleep with my textbook on my lap! I was dragging myself into bed, spurning my hubby’s advances and not exercising b/c I felt I had no spare time.

I tried so hard.  I really did! And the hardest part was that I was really enjoying it and had rediscovered my passion for marketing and also my confidence in my abilities.  

You see, I’ve had some moments at work where I’ve really questioned whether I was cutting it in my industry.  But even after 4 weeks of study and great feedback from students and lecturers, I realised that I actually did know what I was talking about, and if given the chance, could really make a difference in the workplace.

Unfortunately, I’m a bit stuck in the role I’ve got which is not stretching my abilities.  It’s getting a bit ho-hum, but my team are a great bunch of girls and my manager is understanding when it comes to trying to balance kids and work.  So it’s not that easy to just leave and find something else.

I hope I haven’t disappointed you all! Rest assured my life is still crazy, crazy, crazy.  

 

 

 

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It makes my heart a flutter

Signs that things may not be going so well – or as well as you thought – will vary for everyone.

But for me, it has been a fluttering heart.

And not a good fluttering like the one you get when someone gorgeous looks your way and smiles.  This has been more of a ‘gathump’ feeling followed by the sensation that there are butterflies in my chest.

I went to the doctor on Friday.  She ruled out all the bad lifestyle factors: Smoker? No; Drinker? Hardly; Caffeine addict? Can’t afford to be; Drug user? Watcha got?  Nah, no drugs for me – I get high on life (and sniffing permanent markers).

Then she asked when they started.

“About three and a half weeks ago,” I replied.

“Do you live a stressful life?  Do you feel stressed?” she asked.

“I’m doing a Masters of Marketing while working full time and looking after two young children,” I reply.  In other words, “Hell yeah!”

“How long have you been studying for?” she asks.

“About three and half weeks,” says I.

Oh. Funny how I never made that connection.

There I was thinking thinking that I had all the balls in the air and was coping well.  But apparently my mind and heart thought differently.

The good news is that the ECG showed nothing irregular and although I feel like my heart is racing and will jump out of my chest, my heart rate is actually normal and steady.  Weird, right?

So it’s nothing to worry about and since finding out that I am not about to drop dead from a heart attack, the symptoms have already subsided. At first I thought I would have to quit my studies, but I am persevering.

Which brings me to the present.  It is almost 10.30pm.  Everyone else is asleep and I am up reading about ‘Analysing the Macro environment to meet unmet needs and trends’. And so far, my heart is behaving itself.

 

 

I’ve become one of those Mums!

I just had to quickly share what happened today.

My daughter received a Principal’s Award for improving her reading and spelling.  She is only six and in grade Prep, so I was very proud.

Plus, she has been quite a pain lately with an attitude I didn’t think I would have to deal with for at least another 10 years. So we needed this positive achievement.

She was to receive her award at the school assembly this morning.  I stood with the other parents in the assembly hall and when some of the other Preps’ names were called out I started to clap.  There was only a smattering of applause which I thought was pretty pathetic.

When my daughter’s name was called out I started to clap wildly but was cut short because no-one else was clapping.  Do you know that awkward feeling when you are the only one clapping in a large group? It’s not the best feeling in the world.

Then a mother kindly leaned over to me and told me they wait until all the awards are read out and then everyone claps.  Right.  I considered myself told.  A bit too late, though.  She could have told me after clapped the first time!

Luckily my daughter is still too young to be embarrassed by her Mum.  Judging by my spectacle this morning though, the time will come!

The blogger who came in from the cold

Well, the one who has come back in after having a cold, that is.

And not just any cold, mind you.  It’s winter down here in Oz and from day one I came down with what I think was the flu. But I worked through it for two weeks, forcing myself in to work due to tight deadlines.

It hung around for about 4 weeks.  And then just as I was getting better my daughter and I came down with gastro.  And I kid you not, it hit us both at exactly the same time – 2am on a Tuesday morning. She came into our room at about 1am saying she had a sore tummy.  We sent her back to bed.  I had been struggling with a bit of a gurgling tummy at the same time.

Then at 2am she yelled out and when I raced in to see her, she had thrown up all over herself, her bed and her bedside table. I managed to get her to the bathroom sink to throw up some more, then changed her out off her dirty clothes before it hit me too. I had to send her to get her Daddy while I continued to throw up – for a few hours.

All the while, I have been struggling to get a grip on my extra studies. It’s exhausting, but I’m doing OK. But it’s taking a massive toll on my energy levels and my marriage.

I have not been a good wife.

Once the kids are fed and in bed, I’ve been jumping jump on the computer or reading my textbooks.  My husband goes to bed first and I follow.  And then all I can do is have a hot shower and collapse into bed.

See?  I’m a bad wife, right?

Last night I thought I’d make a huge effort.  I had a hot shower as usual, but this time I shaved my legs, put on some body lotion and went into bed.  I was so cold that  I told myself that once I thaw out, I’m going to make the move and seduce my husband. And wouldn’t he be happily surprised!

The next thing I knew it was 1.30am and something was tapping me on my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and found myself looking in to my four-year-old son’s face.  I screamed out a mighty yelp and my husband did the same.  Once I recovered I put my son to bed and then realised that I must have fallen straight to sleep the minute my head hit the pillow.  I did actually think “Oooh, I should be daring and make my move now!” But the lure of sleep was too strong.

What a seductress I am!