Faux food (you’re not fooling anyone!)


Tonight I caught myself eating a dairy free, wheat free, gluten free, nut free [flavour fee] chocolate biscuit and trying to convince myself it tasted OK.

It did not.

Because I’m trying to stick to a FODMAPS diet and look after my irritable tummy, I try to still buy items that I used to eat but that are FODMAPS friendly.  Most of them are close enough in taste that I don’t feel like I’m missing out, but every now and then you come across a product that is wrong, wrong, wrong.

For example, lactose free yoghurt is very tasty, but gluten free, nut free, dairy free chocolate isn’t!

I can sum up all that is wrong with trying to eat NQR (not quite right) food in two words: egg substitute.

I have a good friend at work who is a strict vegan.

I don’t know how she does it.

Mind you, since she’s turned vegan she is hardly ever sick and she has lost heaps of weight!

There are times when I feel like throwing caution to the wind and eating a big bowl of Weet Bix with full cream milk.  Of course I don’t, because that would be catastrophic!

But I do rebel against my irritable bowel in small ways – hell, sometimes I eat cake and biscuits with  – wait for it – wheat and flour!!!!

Of course, I am a bit gassy for the day and look about 45 weeks pregnant, but hey life’s too short!

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2 thoughts on “Faux food (you’re not fooling anyone!)

  1. I hate faux food that is just wrong. Surely someone at the company that makes this crap thinks they taste bad? It’s like those shocking lip synced adverts. Does any one really think it’s a good idea? I once had some gluten free, dairy free shortbread (bearing in mind the whole point of shortbread is the butter) and they were disgusting. They tasted of oil and flour. Not good at all.

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    1. I’ve eaten a weird gluten free, dairy free, wheat free, nut free Roast Almond chocolate bar! And the scary thing was it had these nutty things in it, but I have no idea what they were made of. Sometimes you just can’t pull the wool over your tastebuds, no matter how hard you try!

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