Is it OK to not like your kid sometimes?

My daughter (aged 6.5) and I seem to be at war.  I’m not sure how it started and I’m never sure what sets off the daily little explosions.  But boy, oh boy there are times when she is very hard to like!

Of course I love her fiercely and am immensely proud of her, but there are times when I despair that I have brought her up badly.  When she says mean things, or pushes my buttons just to get a reaction, I am at a loss.  How can my sweet girl behave this way?!

But when I talk to my other friends with daughters, I discover that she is behaving normally, so I’m not the world’s biggest failure of a Mum.

Two recent outburst come to mind.

For the past month, I have been working late due to a massive workload and my kids feel it – and my daughter resents it.  

When she came back from staying at my parent’s place one night, my Mum drew me aside and told me that my daughter said to her that Mummy doesn’t do anything around the place and that I’m lazy.  Daddy looks after her and Mummy just cooks dinner.

Well! My first reaction was ‘How dare she!’ And then I got my nose out of joint because I always thought I was the more calm and loving parent, and now all of a sudden Daddy gets all the credit!

This all happened early this year when my daughter started school and was giving me a hard time for being a working Mum and not able to help out at her school.  So she let me have it and I was public enemy number one.

Then it all settled and we were best buddies again. Now it’s on again.

The other night I was eavesdropping on her talking to her Daddy after we’d had an argument and she told him that the only reason Mummy works so hard is because she just cares about money and not the family. Ouch!

We’ve had a good talk and she has asked me not to come home grumpy and not to yell or smack (God, she has no idea how much I beat myself up if I smack her) and I’ve asked her not to be rude and to do as she’s told.

So far, so good (ish) but tonight she did the one thing that drives me insane.  She SMIRKED while I was telling her off.  SMIRKED!!! I can ignore tantrums and defiance, but smirking gets my goat.  And she knows it.

I just gotta ride it out, I guess. And brace myself for the teenage years!  Gulp.


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