Bettina Arndt is a famous sex therapist in Australia and she recently posted a blog about low sexual libido for women.
After reading it, I felt that she wasn’t very understanding about the many reasons why married mothers lose their sex drive, and as one of those women, I thought I might enlighten her on a few scenarios that guarantee there is not going to be anything hot and heavy happening in my house:
- It’s hard to feel like ‘scream down the house’, ‘Basic Instinct was nothing on this’ sex when you’ve just watched your husband try to pop a pimple on his back before getting into bed.
- Sex isn’t top of the list of things to do when your seven-year-old has gastro and you’ve just cleaned up the mess.
- Don’t bother rolling over and stroking my back and bottom when I’ve just got my period and it feels like someone is swinging on my ovaries while punching me in the stomach and spine.
- Make up sex doesn’t work anymore. I’m too bitter and twisted to forgive and make love. I’m gonna hold on to the resentment until I become distracted by something else.
- Sex is a no-go when I’ve been up three times through the night for the kids (while my husband blissfully sleeps on), woken up at 5.30am to get to the gym, had a full, stressful day at work and then had to make dinner and put the kids to bed. There is no fuel left in the tank. Leave me alone!
- I’m having a fat day, I have a pimple on my bum and my legs are hairy. It ain’t gonna happen tonight.
If you give me a kiss and hug when I get home from work, help out with the kids, sit next to me on the couch and put your arms around me, go to the toilet with the door closed and give me a nice cuddle in bed..then we may be on to something!