Monthly Archives: February 2014

Blog envy

I haven’t posted for weeks.

I wish I had a great excuse like:

“I’ve been working on my latest novel.”

“I’ve been building homes for the homeless.”

“I’ve been cleaning the house from top to bottom.”

“I’ve been crocheting and knitting a new winter wardrobe for my children.”

But the truth is, I have been reading so many great blog posts lately that I’ve been struck down by blog envy.

I’ve caught myself thinking, “Why are you even bothering? You could never write as well as [insert name].”

So if you could all please stop being so prolific and writing so eloquently, I would really appreciate it.



Thank goodness that’s over!

anti-valentinesAfter a not-so-great Valentine’s Day, I’ve got some suggestions for a new range of realistic Valentine’s Day cards:

  • Happy Valentine’s Day. Let’s try not to annoy each other.
  • You’ll do for now. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • Here’s a rose, bah, blah, blah. Happy Valentine’s Day!
  • I’m right. You’re wrong. We both know it. Happy Valentine’s Day!

As you can tell, I’m not the biggest fan of Valentine’s Day. All that forced niceness and romance makes me queasy.

I remember how wrapped up I was in Valentine’s Day when I was in high school.

All that anxious anticipation of whether you had a secret admirer; or better yet, sharing the day with an actual boyfriend! Love poems (awful ones), white teddy bears holding hearts that say ‘I Wuv You’, and declarations of undying devotion. Ah, young love.

Fast forward to 2014.

My husband and I argued on 13 February which made writing the Valentine’s Day card a bit tricky.

You can imagine how hard it is to write something mushy and lovey dovey when you are still seething (about something very trivial in hindsight).

And on the day itself – 14 February – we only had time for a quick “Happy Valentines Day” before we raced off to work and took the kids to school.

Then that night we celebrated the day of love by going out to a noisy, crowded family restaurant with our kids for pizza.

Our kids were tired after a long week of school; our 5-year-old son was grizzly and restless; and the service was not great. Our son then decided to end the night was a loud, screaming tantrum as we dragged him out of the restaurant to the car.

Happy Valentine’s Day to us! Ugh.

Hope you all had a Hallmark-worthy Valentine’s Day!

What My Kids Do During the 30 Seconds It Takes Me to Leave the Room and Pee: A Non-Exhaustive List

I think we can all relate to this! I remember having to time going to the toilet to coincide with the time it took my baby to crawl to the bathroom to find me! And leaving the room for one second, only to return to find my little boy balancing precariously on the top of the couch, almost falling into the glass window behind him. Ah, the joys!


Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Toddlers

1. Get into a fistfight over a Lego

2. Get into a fistfight over a sticker

3. Get into a fistfight over a toy we’ve bought two of so they won’t fistfight over it

4. Steal Daddy’s phone

5. Get into a fistfight over Daddy’s phone

6. Reply to emails from Daddy’s dissertation chair with gibberish

7. Break something, causing a fistfight

8. Break something, during a fistfight

9. Climb onto the kitchen table

10. Go streaking

11. Dump out the dog’s water dish and claim to be ice-skating

12. Empty the toybox I just spent a half hour filling while they sat on their asses singing “Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere” and contributed a single toy between the two of them

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A holiday from my life

In about two hours, my holidays will be up. For the past week and a bit, I have been on leave and it has been pure, unadulterated bliss!

I am normally a full time working mother and my normal life is busy, busy, busy. So having Old-Suitcase-with-Travel-Stickers2this time off from work has been amazing!

I have been able to walk the kids to school and back; to prepare healthy snacks for them when they got home; and to spend time with them to chat about their day. It has been extra special because my little boy started school this year.

The highlights:

A quiet house

How nice is it to walk in to an empty, quiet house?

Oh, joy! The air almost tingles with peace and quiet.

Time to myself

On average, I normally have the house to myself for about one hour a month.

And the only time I normally have time to myself is the 15 minutes from work to home each day. So being able to just ‘be’ was amazing.

No plans

Like most working parents with two small children, my life is mapped out with military precision.

But not in the past week and a bit!

After dropping the kids off at school, I would walk home in the sunshine, let myself in to the empty house and do an inner happy dance. What would I do today? Where would I go? And the answer was: anything and anywhere (until 3.30pm).

Breaking Bad

I watched Series 1 and 2. It was ace. ‘Nuff said!

Exercise? Bah!

I have not done one speck of exercise apart from walking the kids to school and back.

In my normal life, I usually get up at about 5.30am every second morning or so, to get to the gym by 6am so I am home by 7am.

But I refused to do anything that would bear any semblance to my normal life – and that included exercise.

Sure, I’ve put on weight. And sure I feel sluggish and stiff.

But in a childish way I also enjoyed blowing a raspberry to what I “should” be doing!

Yeah, I know exercise should be part of your daily routine..blah, blah, blah…snore… but I dinna wanna do it! So ner!

Of course, it all ends tomorrow! Boo hoo.

Dabbling in interior design

While I was enjoying my time in my wonderfully quiet empty house, I would take a style audit of the rooms and decide what I needed to give them a lift.

So I bought new photo frames, cushions, glassware and throws.

I moved items from one room to another where they worked better and even bought a few interior design books and magazines!

My husband can’t wait for me to get back to work so I can stop banging on about aqua v teal cushions, and whether we need to add shelves or a print above the TV. Talk about First World problems!

It’s all over now

Yes, it’s all over and it was a wonderful glimpse into the life of being a stay-at-home Mum with both kids at school.

Although I know that if that was my normal life, it wouldn’t be as much fun. Instead, I can imagine it would be more about taking the children to and from after school activities, and running errands, plus lots more!

But who needs reality at a time like this?

The Facebook Mum from hell

I was the Facebook Mum from hell yesterday!

It was my little boy’s first day at school and I was determined to score the perfect Facebook shot. You know the one. Where your child is beaming in their new uniform and they are giving you an enormous hug, and everyone is full of love and anticipation.

A few of my friends had already posted pictures just like that, and I was determined to outshine them all!

Yeah, first day of school for me. And, yeah, this is my big sister. And yeah, what's the big deal?
Yeah, first day of school for me. And, yeah, this is my big sister. And yeah, what’s the big deal?

But I had forgotten to tell my son.

He didn’t want a bar of it, and in each shot he was grumpy, snarly and fiddly.

So of course I did what any sane, calm mother would do. I yelled at him to SMILE and GIVE ME A GOOD PHOTO!

And when yelling didn’t work, I pleaded and begged for one little smile – just one teeny weeny grin. Anything so he wasn’t looking like he was hating every second.

And I am ashamed to admit that I got so carried away, that I actually told him he had wrecked the day for me and had hurt my feelings.

Oh dear, it was not my finest moment and I am truly ashamed of myself. I was a woman possessed.

The money shot.
The money shot.

Of course,  once we got to school and there was no mention of trying to get the perfect photo, everyone relaxed and we got the pic!

Thankfully, we ended on a high note and my little boy was wonderfully forgiving (and forgetful) and didn’t hold a grudge against his silly Mum who lost her head for a second.

I hope all the Preps out there had a wonderful first day of school (and that you all managed to smile in the photos – or else!).

Dear son: IOU $13.75

My husband and I just had a great giggle at our son’s expense. It was one of those rare moments of one-upmanship when the scores are very much PARENTS: 1 KID:0.

You see, my husband really wanted to get a photo of our son playing with the hose outside on a sunny day. But our son would not do it until we gave him $10 because he is saving up for some Lego! Did I mention he is five-years-old?

I’m rich, I tells ya!

For the last few few days, we have been trying to encourage him to do it for free, but he remained adamant that he wanted $10 or it was no pic. Our daughter kindly offered to be in the photo for $20. These two are going to be great in the finance game one day.

Today was another hot day and again, we asked our son to be in the pic. When he said no again, I had a lightbulb moment (thanks, Oprah).

He doesn’t understand the concept of money. He doesn’t know that 10x 10 cent pieces equals $1. He thinks each coin is worth $1.

I shared this insight with my husband, who promptly reached into the change jar, grabbed a handful of silver and said to our son, “Here you go. Here is your money.”

Our son quickly ran to the table to count the money before he agreed to be in the photo.

And there he was, excitedly counting out every piece of silver – 15 pieces altogether.

“Wow!” he said, “I have $15!”.

The photo looked terrific and we have a very satisfied – albeit greedy and ruthless – little five-year-old.

Of course, the guilt will soon seep in, and I know I will secretly add the reminder of the money into his moneybox.

But for now, I shall wallow in the warm glow of victory.