Waiting for zen


I have just started very basic interval training so I can run a 5km fun run next October.

Yes, that’s right.I’ve given myself almost a year to run 5km. And, quite possibly, if you have ever seen me running (and I do use the term loosely) you may agree that it is not enough time!

Nup. No zen yet!
Nup. No zen yet!

At the moment, I am really struggling to find my inner zen during my runs.

Perhaps it’s due to the fact that I can’t seem to breathe and run at the same time. Or that I feel like my feet are barely lifting off the ground.

Whatever it is, I can’t find my running zen – that ability to just get lost in the moment of running.

It’s not happening. I think of EVERYTHING when I run – how hard it is; how weird my lungs feel without any air in them; how sore my shins, hamstrings, little toe, and earlobes feel; what I’ll do when I finish the run; what I need to do when I get to work; what I’ll do tomorrow before my next run; what would I spend  $10 million on if I won the lottery: and why am I continuing to eat kale when I really don’t like the taste?

I can’t meditate for the same reason. Or do yoga. Or anything else when you are meant to still your thoughts and just ‘be’.

I can’t ‘be’. I get stuck on me.

I worry that I’m not not thinking.That I’m not breathing properly – too shallow! I yell at myself silently to relax my muscles!

And to stop thinking about how uncomfortable sitting cross-legged is! And to fight the urge to open my eyes to see if everyone else has their eyes closed.

I really wish I could get into the zen zone. Everyone else who can find it seems so chilled and easygoing. But it eludes me!

Have you got zen in your life? How do you find it?

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