Monthly Archives: January 2015

A body transformation is on the cards

Yep, it’s the new year and I have decided to slap myself around, shake myself up and stop wallowing in self pity (and chocolate).

So I have joined up to the Michelle Bridges 12WBT program, starting 2 February.

I know, I know, I’ve tried lots of programs aver the years and no doubt you will be able to find a few posts from way back – if you can be bothered scrolling through them – where I’ve vowed to get back on track. And failed.

Is failure such a bad thing? I don’t think so. I think the main thing is that I keep trying.

So now I am in what they all “pre season” where you start to take part in challenges so you can “smash” through the 12 weeks. The program uses lots of motivational speak like “Willpower is a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it grows!”

And the ever-fit Michelle Bridges really tells it like it is! I like that. She can be a bit scary, though. But that’s what I need!

I need someone to question my stupid excuses for not eating well or exercising. We all do it. Here is an example of some of my excuses:

I can’t exercise because my sports bra is in the wash.

I can’t exercise because my iPod isn’t charged.

I can’t exercise because it’s too hot/cold/humid/cloudy and it’s a day that ends in ‘y’.

I need that chocolate because I am premenstrual and body is telling me it needs it!

I need that chocolate to celebrate a weight loss.

I need that chocolate because I am happy/sad/melancholy/tired/confused/indecisive/busy.

As part of the preseason exercises, I am meant to share my goals. I want to share them with you, my gorgeous followers, because it will keep me on the straight and narrow and I know you won’t stand for any B.S.

Here they are:

1 Month Goals

To have lost 2 kilos by exercising every day and following the meal plan.

3 Month Goals

To have lost 6 kilos and to have increased my strength and tone. To  exercise every day and follow the plan. To keep doing my running program and to get to the gym every second day.

6 Month Goals

To have lost 12 kilos and to be able to run 5km. To complete the 5km Run Maroondah event.

12 Month Goals

To be able to run 10km and to have lost 15 kilos and kept it off.

Feel free to ask me how I am doing!


The Tap-Dancing Butt Crack

I used to think having twins would be great – one push; instant family. But had changed all that. Enjoy!


The warm water ran down my back, washing away 36 hours of sweat and grime. I systematically defunkified each of my body’s nether regions with my extremely manly loofah and inhaled the warm, misty scent of my 2-in-1 shampoo.

It was beautiful.

You should have been there. (But it’s probably for the best that you weren’t, because I was naked and that would have been awkward for you, due to the devastatingly chiseled one-pack bulging from my abs.)

As a parent of twins, I’ve grown to truly appreciate the quiet, reflective alone time a shower buys me, and twelve days into being a parent of three, I was absolutely loving the opportunity to finally hear myself think for five freaking seconds.

As you can probably imagine, adding a newborn to the mix has turned the Pseudonymous household into even more of a zoo than it already was. My wife and I…

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