Well, I’ve almost finished my Michelle Bridges 12WBT program (it’s now Week 10).
And I’ve flunked. Failed. Fallen off the wagon. Wasted my time. Wasted her time.
I am definitely fitter and have regained a love of exercise, but my weight has not budged much. And today when I weighed myself I had PUT ON weight.
And there is no mystery to it, my loyal and loving readers. I eat too much. Since about Week 4 when I fell ill, I have been following her food plan – and then some!
And that’s all it took to fall off the wagon and not get back on. I was sick for a few days, felt miserable and reached for food. And it got its greedy hooks back in to me.
And I was doing so well! Truly! I could see myself in lovely clothes, feeling happy and healthy.
I could see my goals so clearly and I felt like I was working steadily towards them. Until I wasn’t.
I am the demon child of the 12WBT program.
For example, today I started to count calories again to try and get back on track after Easter.
I did OK until lunchtime when the chocolate was calling my name.
But I still kept track of the calories and once they reached my limit of 1500, something clicked. And I got angry (at myself and the calorie content of a Lindt chocolate bunny).
I was mad. And what do people who are trying to lose weight but know they are doing the wrong thing do when they are mad?
I ate MORE! And dammit, I ate for Australia. I ate for all of you who are trying not to overeat.
And in my head, I was yelling at that calorie counter app that was showing the amount of extra calories I had consumed in bold red numbers: “Hah! You think 500 calories over the limit is bad?! I’ll show you how bad I can be!” And ate a bit more.
So now I’m off to have dinner of lettuce leaf and to lick my wounds.
But in the immortal worlds of Scarlett O’Hara – tomorrow is another day!