Tag Archives: health

The pressure of 1 January

I think my calendar is wrong.

It says today is 1 January 2017, but nothing monumental has happened to me, so I think there may be a mistake.

You see, I’m just as irritable and anxious as on 31 December 2016.

I’m still eating chocolate like there’s no tomorrow, despite being on Weight Watchers (well to be fair, people are tying me down and stuffing Lindt balls down my throat!).

I am still terrible with my money and feeling ill that I work so hard and can never seem to be able to afford anything.

The finance fairy has also forgotten to stop by and pay off my credit card debt.

My bottom is still big and wobbly. My fadoobadahs (upper arms) are also still wobbly and I can’t see any definition anywhere on my body.

I still have some wrinkles and grey hair.

My children are still a little bit annoying.

I’m still nagging.

And my hormones are acting like a bunch of bees in a jar after you shake them up.

So, what’s the deal, eh? It’s the New Year, peoples! Where is the sudden turnaround?

This “New Year, New You”hoohah is a lot of hogwash!

Bring on 2018.




My muffin top runneth over

As many of you may know I’ve been studying for the last 12 months. And now it’s over. Woohoo!

For the past four (ish) months I decided to let go of my diet and exercise routine so I could concentrate on getting my studies done while working full time and being a Mum.

And for someone who has always struggled with her weight, it was actually fun to give myself permission to not wake up early and go to the gym or for a run; to not count calories; and to not weigh myself.

muffinBut now the studies are over and I have to deal with what I’ve done to myself.

There have been three signs that have made me think “Hmm… I may have gone a tad too far..”

I was at Coles waiting for the checkout chick to put my items in to the bag.  I went to put my hand on my hip and realised I was resting it on my muffin top! It now sticks out so much, it’s like a ledge!


I was getting dressed for work and tried to tuck in what I thought was my shirt puffing out under my jumper – and realised, yep once again, it was my muffin top. Can’t tuck that baby in, let me tell you!


Today we were out for a drive and we saw a  large lady. My daughter called her ‘fat’ and I said that we don’t call people that. Then my son said, “She’s not fat. She looks like you, Mum!”

Woah! The blinkers are off, peoples! TIme to get busy getting healthy!

Do any of you have any ‘signs’ that tell you that you may have gone too far with the whole eating lots and exercising not much routine?

Time for confession

celery-do-negative-food-calories-workLast Friday I confessed my sins.

I laid them all out on the table. I answered every question truthfully, because I knew if I withheld the truth, then I was wasting my time.

It was very cathartic.

It was with my nutritionist.

Many of you may remember that last year I was placed on a FODMAP free diet after suffering with painful bloating for years. Being on a FODMAP free diet is like being diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  A very unsexy syndrome, but a surprisingly common one.

FODMAPS are poorly absorbed short chain carbs and it stands for Fermentable Oligo- Di- and Mono- saccharides and Polyols. Rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?

Basically there is a large group of foods that contain these types of carbs and sugars that I need to avoid – and it’s the good stuff.  Some items on the banned list include garlic, onion, mushrooms, peaches, watermelon, legumes, wheat, artificial sweeteners and sometimes caffeine.

I’ve been struggling with sticking to this diet (and sometimes failing miserably) with trying to cook for my family AND lose weight.

Since January this year, I’ve been trying to juggle my diet with being on Weight Watchers.  And it worked for a little while, but trying to stick to the Weight Watchers eating plan while substituting FODMAP-friendly foods was starting to backfire. I was Watching my Weight climb instead of fall!

So I went to the nutritionist to discuss how I can look after my health, and lose weight at the same time.

Hence the confession.

As part of the consultation, I had to tell her what I ate on a daily basis!

I started the confession with “I know I’m eating really well, but I don’t know why I’m not losing weight.”

Her response was to roll her eyes and say “If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me…”

She didn’t actually say it out loud, but I knew she was thinking it!

Then all my little secrets came tumbling out.

The daily enormous coffee, the daily can of Diet Coke (sometimes two) the daily visit to the vending machine for chocolate (unluckily for me and my willpower, Cadbury Daily Milk chocolate is OK for my tummy).

And of course she told me I was doing it all wrong and to change my ways. And surprisingly her advice was exactly what I needed! So now I am watching my portions, drinking more water (I’m constantly running off to the loo!), cutting down my Diet Cokes and coffee,  and watching my calories!

It’s certainly not rocket science! But sometimes we need someone to remind us of the simple solutions to get us back on track, don’t we?

First World problems

For those of you that have real problems, please don’t read on because this blog is all about me moaning about my First World problems. And you’ll just think I’m a selfish, whining twat.

First World problem #1: My tonsils have grown back and now I have tonsilitis!

Well, that was the diagnosis of the very old, but very sweet doctor at the 24 hour clinic I went to on Sunday because I was in so much pain.  I’d had a big night on Friday, and when I woke up Saturday, I just thought my throat was sore from overdoing it the night before.

But as the day dragged on, I couldn’t swallow without being in great pain, and couldn’t even touch my throat without flinching.

My daughter had a play date with her buddy from school and I had to sneak off to have a quick nap!

So now I have taken two days off work, and am on penicillin. I’ll be back at work tomorrow and straight back into the craziness of my workload.

First World problem #2: I have a sore big toe!

Last week my daughter accidentally knocked a photo frame off the wall and it came crashing down on my big toe, splitting it open, with blood gushing everywhere.

In between me trying not to pass out, I was trying to comfort my kids incase they were distressed about all the blood gushing out.  My little boy was very comforting and was rubbing my back and kissing my hand.  But my little girl was having a tantrum because her Daddy had pushed her out of the way!

In the emergency room, my little girl asked if she could come in to see the doctor with me.  Because at that stage we thought my toe may be broken or at least require stitches, I told her, “No, darling. I don’t want you to see Mummy in pain.” To which she replied, “But I came here to see your pain!”.

What a sweetheart.

They didn’t end up stitching my toe and it wasn’t broken.  They just glued it up and it’s been bandaged ever since.  I’ve been hobbling about because it was extremely sore, swollen and bruised.  I’ve had to wear thongs (flip flops) to work much to the amusement of my co-workers!

But yesterday I was able to wear shoes, so I think I am on the mend.

First Word problem #3: My FODMAPS diet is giving me the you-know-whats!

I’ve been trying to stick to it, but I haven’t got my head around it properly and I’ve been cheating it because I’m not eating enough. I’ve been hungry at work and turning to bad foods that make me feel bloated and gross, but I keep doing it for some weird reason.

I think because I have been so slack with my diet and lot looking after myself, that I have been so ill this year.

I’ve re-read my FODMAPS list and am going to really try to be good. It’s just not worth feeling rotten and blah! If any of you are going through the same thing, let me know!

The trouble is, that it rules out so many of the fabbo comfort food I am used to turning to such as cookies, ice cream and chocolate.

I have now discovered that even the dairy free, no wheat, no gluten chocolate that I was kidding myself about it tasting like real chocolate, is on the ‘no’ list as it contains inulin.

So what’s left for me now? Am I doomed to live a chocolate-free life?  Aaagh! Noooooooo!

First World problem #4: I am spiralling into debt in the lead up to Christmas!

I’m in big trouble.  And I need to go into more credit until next payday as I have hair appointments and present buying to do!

Boo hoo to me, eh?

Well, that’s enough of my whining. This is probably the most self-centred post I’ve ever written!  I hope all my gorgeous followers and those of you who are kind enough to ‘like’ my blog read it with a bit of a giggle-  and lots of tolerance!

Hee Hee.

Faux food (you’re not fooling anyone!)

Tonight I caught myself eating a dairy free, wheat free, gluten free, nut free [flavour fee] chocolate biscuit and trying to convince myself it tasted OK.

It did not.

Because I’m trying to stick to a FODMAPS diet and look after my irritable tummy, I try to still buy items that I used to eat but that are FODMAPS friendly.  Most of them are close enough in taste that I don’t feel like I’m missing out, but every now and then you come across a product that is wrong, wrong, wrong.

For example, lactose free yoghurt is very tasty, but gluten free, nut free, dairy free chocolate isn’t!

I can sum up all that is wrong with trying to eat NQR (not quite right) food in two words: egg substitute.

I have a good friend at work who is a strict vegan.

I don’t know how she does it.

Mind you, since she’s turned vegan she is hardly ever sick and she has lost heaps of weight!

There are times when I feel like throwing caution to the wind and eating a big bowl of Weet Bix with full cream milk.  Of course I don’t, because that would be catastrophic!

But I do rebel against my irritable bowel in small ways – hell, sometimes I eat cake and biscuits with  – wait for it – wheat and flour!!!!

Of course, I am a bit gassy for the day and look about 45 weeks pregnant, but hey life’s too short!

It makes my heart a flutter

Signs that things may not be going so well – or as well as you thought – will vary for everyone.

But for me, it has been a fluttering heart.

And not a good fluttering like the one you get when someone gorgeous looks your way and smiles.  This has been more of a ‘gathump’ feeling followed by the sensation that there are butterflies in my chest.

I went to the doctor on Friday.  She ruled out all the bad lifestyle factors: Smoker? No; Drinker? Hardly; Caffeine addict? Can’t afford to be; Drug user? Watcha got?  Nah, no drugs for me – I get high on life (and sniffing permanent markers).

Then she asked when they started.

“About three and a half weeks ago,” I replied.

“Do you live a stressful life?  Do you feel stressed?” she asked.

“I’m doing a Masters of Marketing while working full time and looking after two young children,” I reply.  In other words, “Hell yeah!”

“How long have you been studying for?” she asks.

“About three and half weeks,” says I.

Oh. Funny how I never made that connection.

There I was thinking thinking that I had all the balls in the air and was coping well.  But apparently my mind and heart thought differently.

The good news is that the ECG showed nothing irregular and although I feel like my heart is racing and will jump out of my chest, my heart rate is actually normal and steady.  Weird, right?

So it’s nothing to worry about and since finding out that I am not about to drop dead from a heart attack, the symptoms have already subsided. At first I thought I would have to quit my studies, but I am persevering.

Which brings me to the present.  It is almost 10.30pm.  Everyone else is asleep and I am up reading about ‘Analysing the Macro environment to meet unmet needs and trends’. And so far, my heart is behaving itself.



Phlegm, failures and tummy troubles.

Welcome to our humble home.  Leave your health at the door and be prepared to be surrounded by coughing, sneezing and the soothing sound of gurgling phlegm.

The main reason I haven’t blogged for a few days is that I am battling the mother of all coughs. And when I’m not coughing, my chest is rattling with phlegm and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open at the end of the day. Oh, and I’ve got my period too. Can life get any better?  Yes.

Reading back on what I’ve just written, I’ve realised I’ve already mentioned phlegm twice. So can you tell that we’re all sick and phlegmy??

Work is so busy at the moment and one of the reasons I got myself this sick and run down is because I was trying to deny I was getting sick because I couldn’t take break from work.  And I can’t even look after my own sick kids because of my workload.  I feel like such a failure.

Both kids were home sick today and my husband had to stay at home to look after them.  Tomorrow he has to work and so do I – and it kills me because I know the kids would both benefit from another day home.  But what can we do? I have three things due this week and no-one else can do them.  And if I fail, then it will only make me look as though I can’t manage my time.

So I either fail as a Mum or fail as an employee.

I’ve definitely failed as a wife.  It’s been weeks since I’ve given my husband a good cuddle. It’s very hard to feel sexy when you cough all night and then have to knock yourself out with cough mixture full of codeine.

Oh, and I think I failed as a school mum tonight!

All day my tummy had been bloated from something I’d eaten. Then I had a work event and was struggling with a sore tummy while trying to be super sociable between dashing off to the toilet.  Thank you IBS!

Straight after the event, I went to my daughter’s parent/teacher interview.  Half way through it I felt my stomach start to clench and I suddenly thought “Oh no. I need to go to the toilet and I can’t concentrate on what the teacher is saying!”

I tried to focus and ignore the painful cramping, but I just couldn’t.  So I had to interrupt her and say I had to go to the toilet!!  We had pretty much finished and so she tried to wrap it up by asking if I had any concerns or questions and of course I said no. Luckily my little girl is doing beautifully at school, but I was so embarrassed. Imagine knowing you were cutting short chatting to your child’s teacher because you had to run off to the toilet!

Should I put a little note in my daughter’s school bag and apologise?

Bloody IBS – you shit me! Literally.  Ha Ha Ha.




Self sabotage

Oooh, my tummy hurts!  Was it the three sausages with barbecue sauce I ate for dinner?  Or was it the rice snacks I wolfed down that contain non-FODMAPS friendly onion and garlic powder.

Oh, I know! It may have been the teeny slice of lemon tart I had for dessert.

Oh no, hang on! It may have been the packet of chicken chips I had at work.

Yes, it’s been a bad day.  Crazy considering yesterday’s blog was all about how I don’t want to let myself go.  Hopeless.

Do I get any sympathy if I tell you that I am battling a chest cold with a chronic cough? I couldn’t perform my wifely duties last night because I was hacking away – coughing, that is. I overdosed on Rikodeine – THE world’s best cough medicine  – that knocks me out, but makes me groggy in the morning.

So I woke up this morning tired, with a groggy head and feeling like a frump.  But the good news is that the massive pimple on my chin has started to go away. There’s always a silver lining, eh?

I had the evening to myself tonight which explains the bingeing. For some strange reason, when I know I have the house to myself I get this strong urge to eat, eat, eat. Like it’s my own dirty little secret.  And yes, there have been times when I’ve hidden chocolate wrappers in the bin by wrapping them up in tissues.

My hubby has started a 9 week photography course in the city, so I have the kids to myself every Monday from 5.30pm.  And it’s now 10pm. And how did this little black duck spend her time? She ate bad food which gave her sharp tummy pains and the runs.  Sorry to be so graphic, folks!

But to balance out all that self sabotage, I was kind to myself and watched Episodes 7 & 8 of Season 5 of Mad Men. Don Draper. Sigh.

So in the words of my favourite heroine Scarlett O’Hara – tomorrow is another day! I now have a FODMAPS cookbook, so there are no excuses. Actually, that’s not true.  I’ll find an excuse and I’ll probably just cut and paste this blog again in a few days time! Or I’ll just try harder tomorrow.

Stay tuned!