Sure, I have my flaws. I can be short tempered and can hold a grudge like a Mafia boss, but I would like to think that my niceties override the flaws.
But yesterday I had a really, really bad day when my Ms Hyde trampled on my Dr Jekyll and left trampled feelings in her wake.
I made one of my favourite people at work cry.
And while she was crying, she was also looking really angry. And when I asked her what was wrong, she pointed her finger at me and spat out “You!”
Now, to a person who truly wants to be loved by all (apart from the people she can give two hoots about), that really hurt.
Because I really respect this person. And support her. And think she’s capable of great things.
But apparently I had spoken very sharply to her and made her feel terrible. And I am so, so sorry about it. I know I was struggling with a cracker of a headache yesterday. And I was tired. And stressed. But there really was no excuse.
Of course I apologised profusely and I think we’re OK. But it did make me realise how quickly my nasty little nemesis can pop her ugly head up to say hello.
And it happened with the kids too last night. I didn’t mean to be harsh, but I made my daughter cry because she said I was talking like I was really angry with her. And I wasn’t.
What was wrong with me yesterday? I truly felt like I needed to back out of the room slowly, go to bed and protect my family from myself.
How many times has your Ms/Mr Hyde popped out? Sometimes when I am at my wits end with my children, I catch my reflection on the mirror mid-shriek and think,”Woah. Who is that screaming harpie?” And looking back at me is Ms Hyde.
So I shall make every effort to keep her under wraps for everybody’s sake.
I shall keep her subdued with copious amounts of chocolate and only let her come roaring out when I am home alone and the damage can be minimised.